Saturday, August 28, 2010

its been a while since i've done anything here.  its not because i haven't wanted to.....just life takes over sometimes and when i feel inspired i'm actually in the car driving and then i come home and can't think of the exciting things i wanted to post!

things have been up and down and i'm coping for the most part.  good things include:  miguel rolling and smiling and cooing, dominic getting signed up for football, susan having some cry-less days at school, gabriella finally spelling her WHOLE name (finally remembering the i and e) and Giovanni being more and more verbal day by day.  he also learned how to pedal a tricycle!  good for me i guess was a slight increase in hours at work.....but that also leads to the bad:

increase in work hours BUT they have me closing 2x a week (545).  after running to get miguel from grandma's and then getting home (40 minutes from their house) its around 7pm and to get fed, shower, homework and bed done in an hour sucks!  don't know what i'm going to do when i throw football practice in the mix.  the politics at work suck extra bad right now too!  its funny how some people can slack as bad as they do and keep their job or even gets parts of their job taken away from them because its SO stressful for them and its put on other people who alraedy have an overload of work.  bad for my kids have included susan crying almost daily since starting at chandler.  its not that she doesn't like it, its new and VERY different from kindergarden last year.  (last year she went to a bilingual kindergarden and there were only 8 children in her class).  both her and dominic are VERY tired from going all day to school and often fall asleep in the van on the way home.  gabriella got her first taste of lice thanks to daycare and that has been joy of joys (NOT) especially lugging things back and forth to Goshen to wash since we don't have the machines here anymore.  giovanni has gotten injured a few times, not so major thank goodness.  he's also going through something and he's crying for my friend meghann alot (he visits with her often).  he will especially cry when he's in trouble or at bedtime and it just perplexes me.  dominic thank goodness is my pretty even keel child.  not much bothers him.  school is difficult as far as the long hours but he's doing really well!  i'm glad too that his cousin even though she is a girl is in his class. 

why does it bother me when people say that they admire me for being 'all together' with 5 kids?  yes, i'm on time (early most days for things), my kids are pretty well adjusted, they don't act out much, and when they do its not bad, its silly or rambunctious.  i guess i feel that if i can do it with 5 and HAVE to do it with 5 with limited help, why can't someone who has a husband or all the help in the world with their 1 or 2 children have it together?  i feel like i have to prove myself more to people because i DO have all these kids, but then those with the lesser kids slack off?  i have tried to give it to God but when its thrown in my face daily the devil gets on my back and makes it gnaw and gnaw at me. 

ok enough on the negative.  its going to be a WONDERFUL day.  my broke behind is staying put this weekend conserving the little bit of gas i do have to get to work next week and hope it lasts til friday.  we're gonna clean house and have alot of movie time since its just me the girls and miguel!  hope you all have a GREAT weekend! 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Sue. I read this earlier and have thought and thought about how to respond. Here's all I can say - I have no idea why it bothers you when people ask if you have it all together. But PLEASE take it as a compliment! Speaking for myself, seeing a woman manage a family of five on her own has two effects on me. The insecure side of me wonders what the heck is wrong with me that I can't get it together with just my two when you can do it with five! The positive side of me feels hopeful that if you can do it, I can too. It blows my mind that you think you have to prove yourself - who in the heck are these people making you feel that way? To me, you have already proven yourself as a Wonder Woman.