Sunday, September 25, 2011

words and struggles

No one said that the journey to being closer to God was going to be easy.  This week I've really been tested with it and I've been put into a funk.  People don't understand sometimes how their words (or actions) can really knock a person down.  I was told this week:

'You hide behind your kids to not enjoy life.'

This has REALLY been effecting me since someone said it this week.  I don't feel like I am doing this, am I? 

I have 5 kids and I'm a single mom with 1 income.  I am not wealthy but I am not completely struggling either.  I keep my head above water for the most part.  As my kids have needs, I must provide for them first, as I am sure any parent would.  My needs and wants in my eyes always come last.  IF I have extra and am asked to do something or go somewhere I do if I can.  It is very rare that it happens anymore.  I know sometimes I feel (and its only when I'm struggling) that people see me, alone, with these kids and they don't want to hang out with me.  I sometimes feel so out of place.  I have friends who are either happily married, single moms to 1-2 kids or completely single and then  there's me.  Maybe people feel like its harder to relate to me and my situation, who knows.  I am normal and fun to be around - there's just more attached to me to love.

I love my kids with all my heart and soul.  They are for the most part a well behaved bunch.  Maybe life isn't what I wanted to expected but we are making it.  I only feel this way when I get knocked down.

Maybe I just need to pray about it more (as I learn to pray better then I do) and be more diligent in being a follower of God. 

I should have just gone to Church this Sunday morning!

1 comment:

  1. From your blog and facebook, you seem to enjoy life quite well. :)
    I would like to think that those who make comments that bring me down have good intentions behind them. While it may not always be the case, I need to look at why their opinion bothers me. And then, I need to let it go.
    People will always have their comments, judgements, and opinions.
    We do the best we can and from what I see and know, you are a wonderful mother!!
    And let me tell you, my Mother had all of the money in the world but, never put her kids first. She had a husband to help and never put her kids first.
    You have a love inside that money and a husband can't buy. The love you have for your children.
    Hopefully that opinion outweighs the one given to you earlier this week. ;)